Wyclef Jean Has No Business Running For President, Sean Penn Has No Business Giving His Opinion On Absolutely Everything

I don't really know why Wyclef Jean has decided to run for the president of Haiti. It's pretty ridiculous, but honestly I can't get too high and mighty on the subject. I don't think someone from the country that spawned the political careers of Jesse Ventura, Sonny Bono, and Conan the Barbarian really has the right to look down their nose at, well...anyone, really.

But I really have had it with Sean Penn. I have yet to meet anyone who seems genuinely interested in what this self-important schmuck thinks, yet he's got to shove his rather sizable nose into anything to do with foreign relations. Yes, we get it Sean, you've been to Haiti. And when you're done there you'll go back to the expensive house where you probably cheated on your ex-wife, repeatedly and vigorously. Shut the fuck up, Spicoli.

Saturday Cartoons Hit The Big Screen, Drive Me Into Madness

Hm, a movie version of Garfield voiced by Bill Murray. Seems kind of lame, but it could be good, right?

Wow, this looks pretty bad. The CGI is lame and the biggest laugh in the trailer seems to be watching a rodent crap on the furniture. Eh, whatever.

Wait, what? None of the 7 people who watched the first one even liked it. And why did Bill Murray agree to do another one? I mean, he won't do another Ghostbusters but he'll do another fucking Garfield? I just don't get it.
Oh, now come on. There was absolutely nothing redeeming about the first movie. It's officially time to give this stuff a rest, guys.
Alright, assholes. I swear to God if you pull this shit one more time I'm going to shoot myself in the head.
Blam!

Everybody Sucks But Me, Day 1: You're Invited To Suck At Your Job

I realized I've been a little lax in my posting over the past week, and in that time I've had plenty of chances to notice how pissed off everybody makes me. Therefore, I've decided to let it all out over the next five days in waves of unmitigated word vomit.

For Day 1, I would like to address the fine people of La Bella Couture Designs, who have officially screwed the pooch on Mrs. Grump to Be and my wedding invitations. After two months of trying to see a sample invitation (after paying the deposit, mind you) and being ignored, condescendingly placated, and eventually told to take our money back, I would like to extend you an invitation of my own (click the box below to view).

Quick Complaint

Can anyone explain to me why DJs feel the need to refer to Jimi Hendrix by his full name, James Marshall Hendrix? Are we supposed to be impressed? First of all, that's not even his birth name. He was born Johnny Allen Hendrix. Secondly, who gives a shit what his full name is? His albums said Jimi Hendrix, so why don't we all just stick to calling him Jimi Hendrix? What's next? Are we going to have to be told to stick around after the commercial break for Robert Allen Zimmerman's "The Times They Are a-Changin'"?